Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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