Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
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it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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