so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
