When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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