I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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