I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
is that a dick in a sweater?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
