It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My liver just had a heart attack.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
