Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
