i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize