its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
