I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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