she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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