is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize