i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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