it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
