sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
