dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
