Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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