On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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