Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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