I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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