that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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