i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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