i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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