ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
