i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
