She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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