i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
