I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
