I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
