it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
