I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
