And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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