I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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