Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
