We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
