just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
