I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
