return my video game
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
