Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
