Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
