D3 body, D1 cock
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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