note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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