I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just google imaged poop.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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