I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
