My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
be right there i have to get my cape
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
