You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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