If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
