Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
