You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
