I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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