honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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