Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I am never drinking with the goths again.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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