doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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