apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
that's an acceptable place to lick
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
