Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
