I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
