butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize