Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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