Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
